Phone controlled by a partner: signs and what to do
Your partner knows where you have been, quotes your messages, demands your password “if you have nothing to hide”. Sometimes it is jealousy, sometimes it is real surveillance through the phone. Below — how to recognise the signs and act safely. If you are in danger right now, call 112.
Signs that your phone may be monitored
- The person knows your location or the content of your messages, although you didn’t tell them.
- There are apps on the phone you didn’t install, or a profile you can’t remove.
- Your Apple or Google account is signed in on some other device.
- You got an alert about an unknown AirTag or a similar tracker near you.
- The phone drains fast and gets warm without load (not proof, but a reason to check).
Safety first, technology second
If you are afraid of your partner’s reaction, don’t immediately delete suspicious apps or change all passwords at once: the person may notice and get angry. First think about your safety and who you can talk to. It is better to check the phone and change passwords from another, safe device or together with someone you trust.
What to check on iPhone
- Settings → Privacy & Security → Safety Check: here you can see who you have shared your location, photos and other data with, and quickly stop access.
- Settings → your name → the list of devices at the bottom: is there someone else’s phone or computer?
- Find My → People: who you share your location with.
- Settings → General → VPN & Device Management: is there an unknown profile?
What to check on Android
- Google account → Security → Your devices: are there any you don’t know?
- Google Maps → Location sharing: who can see your location.
- Settings → Apps: unknown programs, especially with access to SMS, microphone and location.
- Settings → Security → Device admin apps: suspicious apps with special rights.
When you decide to act
- Change the password of your Apple ID or Google account and turn on two-factor protection — with a phone number only you have access to.
- Sign out of all unknown devices in the account list.
- Change your lock screen code and don’t share it.
- Save screenshots of anything suspicious — they may be needed.
- A factory reset removes both spyware and evidence — decide on it consciously.
Where to get help in Georgia
How I can help
I will confidentially check your phone and laptop: suspicious apps, profiles, access to accounts and location, and set up protection. No unnecessary questions and no judgement; nobody but you will know about the visit. Visit — from 50 ₾; we can meet somewhere convenient for you instead of at home.