First a conversation, then settings
The most common mistake: take mum’s phone, "set it up properly" and give it back. A week later she cannot find the familiar buttons and asks for everything to be put back. So sit next to her and ask what annoys her: small text, a quiet ringtone, too many notifications or confusing apps. Set it up around her complaints, not around your idea of the right phone.
One more rule: the Apple ID must be her own, and she must know the password. Write it on paper and keep it somewhere at home — not in the phone or in a messenger. If the Apple ID is in your name, she will not be able to recover anything herself if something breaks.
Menu names below are for current versions of iOS. They differ slightly between versions and interface languages, so if you do not find an item right away, look for a similar one nearby.
Step 1. Make the text large
This gives an immediate effect. Open Settings → Display & Brightness → Text Size and move the slider to the right. Turn on Bold Text there too.
If the maximum size is not enough, go to Accessibility → Display & Text Size → Larger Text: there are more sizes. Display & Brightness also has Display Zoom, which enlarges icons and buttons as a whole. Try both and see which is more comfortable for her.
Step 2. Make calls loud and noticeable
Turn the ringer volume to maximum in Sounds & Haptics and add vibration. Choose a long, clear ringtone rather than a tune that gets lost in noise.
If she is hard of hearing, Accessibility → Audio & Visual has LED Flash for Alerts: the flashlight blinks when a call comes in. For many people this is the only way not to miss calls.
Step 3. Simplify the home screen
The fewer icons, the calmer. Keep on the first screen only what she uses every day: Phone, Messages, WhatsApp (or another messenger), Camera, Photos. Put the rest in a folder or on the second screen. Put the four most important apps in the dock at the bottom.
There is a more radical option: Assistive Access in Accessibility. It turns the iPhone into a very simple interface with large buttons and a limited set of apps. It suits someone who gets lost even on the normal screen. But it has fewer features, and some people find that frustrating. Try the normal settings first.
Step 4. Quick calls without searching
Open the Phone app and add the most important people to Favourites: one tap and the call starts. Add a photo to each contact so she recognises the person by sight, not by name. Name contacts the way she calls them: "Daughter Anya", "Neighbour Gogi", "Doctor".
Show her how the voice assistant works: "Hey Siri, call Anya". Not everyone likes it, but it helps some people, especially if small buttons are hard to hit.
Step 5. Video calls and messengers
For most families the main reason to set up the phone is staying in touch with children and grandchildren. Install the messenger the family uses (most often WhatsApp) and check three things together with her:
- how to answer a video call;
- how to call herself;
- how to send a photo or a voice message.
Pin the important chats at the top of the list so they do not get lost. Practise together several times: one explanation is usually not enough.
Step 6. Emergency details
This step is often forgotten, and wrongly so. In the Health app fill in the Medical ID: name, an emergency contact and, if she agrees, important medical details. They are available from the lock screen, so rescuers or doctors can see them without the passcode.
Fill in only what she herself has agreed to. Show her how to call emergency help: in Georgia the single number is 112. The emergency button can be set up, but explain how not to press it by accident.
Step 7. Protection from scammers
Elderly parents are targeted more often than others by calls "from the bank", "from the police" and "from support". Settings help but do not replace a conversation.
What to do in the phone:
- turn on Silence Unknown Callers (in Phone settings): calls from unknown numbers do not ring but go to the Recents list. The downside: she may miss a call from a doctor or courier, so she should check the missed calls list;
- turn on filtering of unknown senders in Messages settings so suspicious SMS do not mix with normal ones;
- in Settings → your name → Subscriptions, check there are no unfamiliar paid subscriptions.
What to explain in words, and repeat:
- The bank, police and support never ask for an SMS code or the Apple ID password.
- If someone calls and rushes her, she should hang up and call you.
- Never install apps "to protect the account" or for "remote help" at a stranger’s request.
- Any link in a message from strangers is a reason not to tap it but to show it to you.
Agree on a simple phrase: "First I call Anya." It works better than any instructions.
Step 8. Passcode and account access
Set a six-digit passcode she will definitely remember and that cannot be guessed from her birth date. Turn on Face ID or the fingerprint if she is comfortable with them. If not, keep the passcode.
Add an account recovery contact for the Apple ID (in Settings → your name → Sign-In & Security). If she forgets her password, you will be able to help her get the account back. Keep two-factor authentication on: codes come to her number, so she must have her phone nearby.
Step 9. Backup
If the phone is lost or broken and there is no backup, she will lose contacts, photos and chats. Turn on backup in Settings → your name → iCloud → iCloud Backup. Check there is enough space: the free amount is often not enough, the backup simply stops being created and the person does not notice. I write more about photo backups in a separate article.
Step 10. Helping from a distance
The simplest way: a FaceTime video call with screen sharing. She taps the share button, you see her screen and explain where to tap. In newer iOS versions you can request control of the screen, but she must allow it herself.
If she agrees, you can share location through Find My. Discuss it with her openly: the goal is not surveillance but knowing she got home and being able to help if she gets lost. Without her consent it should not be done.
And the main thing: teach her that "remote access" at a stranger’s request is almost always a scam.
A short checklist
- text is large and bold;
- the ringtone is loud, with vibration or flash;
- only what she needs is on the home screen;
- favourite contacts have photos;
- the messenger and video calls have been practised;
- the Medical ID is filled in with her consent;
- unknown callers are silenced;
- the passcode is easy for her but not guessable;
- there is a backup and a recovery contact;
- the agreement "first I call Anya".
Common mistakes
- Setting everything up at once without showing how to use it.
- Registering the Apple ID in your name instead of hers.
- Choosing a small font "because it looks nice".
- Installing a dozen apps "just in case".
- Locking everything down and making the phone useless: she will simply stop using it.
When to call a technician
You will do most of this yourself. But if you do not live near your mum — she is in Batumi and you are abroad — or simply lack the patience and time, you can leave it to me. I come to the home, set up the phone together with her, show her how to use it and leave a short guide on paper in large print.
Author: Tariel, Batumi. Updated: October 2026
Related articles
How to back up your photos so you never lose your memories
How not to lose phone photos: the 3-2-1 rule, the cloud, a copy on the computer and an external drive. Step-by-step setup for iPhone and Android and how to check the backups really work.
How to set up a child’s phone safely: parental controls
How to set up a child’s phone safely: a child account, Screen Time on iPhone, Family Link on Android, purchases, location and privacy in games. And the conversation with your child without which settings do not work.
Online safety for women in Batumi: what you need to know
A calm, practical guide to digital safety: scam schemes, fake dating profiles, public Wi-Fi, geotags, passwords and a messenger check. A separate section on what to do in case of blackmail and where to get help.